The Night the Lights Went Out in New Orleans

Ray Lewis and Ed Reed of the Baltimore Ravens celebrate following their 34-31 victory over the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl XLVII.

Photo by TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images

At 7:31 p.m. Central Time, the Ravens? Jacoby Jones ran back the second-half kickoff 108 yards for a touchdown. Six minutes after Jones used the stadium scoreboard as a rearview mirror, the Jumbotron went dark along with half the lights in the Superdome ceiling. This was the pattern of Super Bowl XLVII: Something strange would happen, and then it would be followed by something even stranger, and then Phil Simms would salivate about Colin Kaepernick?s arm strength until the next fumble or intentional safety or cloud of locusts. Sometimes the Super Bowl is just a regular game played under a magnifying glass. Sometimes the on-field action is more tedious than whatever talking primate is trying to sell us beer and/or tax software. This year?s 34-31 Ravens win over the 49ers was a showcase for just how bizarre sports can be, and how amazing and terrible it can get when a live event goes off script.

For a solid two quarters, the Harbaugh Bowl challenged the Bills? 23^rd-consecutive Super Bowl defeat for most-stultifying-title-game honors. Joe Flacco looked great, Kaepernick seemed shaky, and the action on the field was several notches less compelling than the bottom of Ray Lewis? gold-and-purple, infographic-and-Bible-verse-laden shoes, which appeared to be a joint project from Under Armour, Jean Paul Gaultier, Bishop T.D. Jakes, and Edward Tufte.

And then things got weird. Sunday night?s 34-minute power outage, though not as outwardly goofy as the delay created by the Fan Man paragliding in to a heavyweight title fight, earned extra style points for revealing, now and forever, the shallowness of the NFL?s strategic reserve of pre-game yakkers. With CBS? Jim Nantz and Phil Simms deprived of electricity, a confused nation got to see the sportscasting version of SpaceCamp, that non-classic film in which a bunch of undertrained kids get shot into orbit to the absolute horror of those in command.

As sideline reporters Steve Tasker and Solomon Wilcots failed to acquire any useful information about the outage, the network?s buffet of pundits offered continual, irrefutable proof of their own uselessness. ?Well, I think John Harbaugh, you know, he?s just going to tell his team to relax,? said Dan Marino as CBS? cameras showed the Ravens coach screaming expletives at a gentleman in a suit that nobody bothered to identify. Shannon Sharpe noted that the 49ers were ?down 22 points in THE SUPER BOWL,? raising his voice to remind us that the Super Bowl is an important football game. Bill Cowher, providing insight that only a title-winning coach can, explained that ?staying in the moment, embracing the process right now, to me, is the most important thing for both these coaches.?

When the power came back on, it was clear that San Francisco had done a better job of embracing the process of standing around doing nothing for a half hour. A 28-6 game became 28-13, then 28-20, then 28-23, and?after a break for a short Ravens field goal?31-29 when Kaepernick scored on a 15-yard run with just less than 10 minutes to go.

Though Simms? praise for Kaepernick zoomed well past excessive by the end of the first quarter?no, Phil, it is not remarkable to see a pro quarterback loft a ball to an open receiver?the San Francisco rookie has a way of making everyone else on the field look outdated. On that touchdown run, Kaepernick scooted around left end, then sprinted upfield past Ray Lewis and Ed Reed?the NFL?s future dusting the NFL?s past.

But football is not a race. Rather, it?s a sport in which individual athletic ability gets amplified or muted by play calls, blocks, and reads. On the subsequent two-point attempt, Reed?who maybe jumped offside, maybe not?blitzed off the left edge. The Ravens brought one more man than the 49ers could block, making Kaepernick?s arms and legs useless. With Reed in his face, the 49ers quarterback had to throw before Randy Moss was ready. The pass was incomplete, and Baltimore?s old men kept the lead. (Lewis, who didn?t accomplish much of anything all game, busted into the line ineffectually. But hey, that?s why there are 10 other players on the field.)

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